I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
