So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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