shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
