Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
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