sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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