If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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