i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.