Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  ad ew i am wasted whats my problem

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  (415): ad ew i am wasted whats my problem http://tfl.nu/k96e
  Replies (1) Good night (1228) Bad night (1255)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today

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  (770): I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today http://tfl.nu/7gup
  Replies (6) Good night (1251) Bad night (576)
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  (559): View more from California

  That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!

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  (559): That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?! http://tfl.nu/5bsv
  Replies (48) Good night (1690) Bad night (2941)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.

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  (651): I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked. http://tfl.nu/b7zw
  Replies (104) Good night (4598) Bad night (2564)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.

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  (303): I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer. http://tfl.nu/2j6i
  Replies (76) Good night (15840) Bad night (1400)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.

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  (937): my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different. http://tfl.nu/n2zh
  Replies (38) Good night (6469) Bad night (1686)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace

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  (803): and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace http://tfl.nu/njta
  Replies (8) Good night (2829) Bad night (816)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.

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  (647): Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face. http://tfl.nu/boco
  Replies (10) Good night (2214) Bad night (967)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.

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  (479): I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again. http://tfl.nu/tpxn
  Replies (3) Good night (816) Bad night (631)
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  (562): View more from California

  Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.

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  (562): Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding. http://tfl.nu/vxim
  Replies (5) Good night (938) Bad night (421)
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  (315): View more from New York

  My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?

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  (315): My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero? http://tfl.nu/se5g
  Replies (5) Good night (1622) Bad night (491)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time

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  (434): I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time http://tfl.nu/ligv
  Replies (7) Good night (482) Bad night (1087)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics

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  (847): I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics http://tfl.nu/jc4w
  Replies (5) Good night (732) Bad night (407)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited

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  (419): Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited http://tfl.nu/eyjk
  Replies (3) Good night (896) Bad night (425)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well puke fest 2014 just happened

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  (717): Well puke fest 2014 just happened http://tfl.nu/z9vb
  Replies (2) Good night (191) Bad night (361)

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