with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
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you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
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So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
How does one acquire holy water?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.