That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
