Texts From Last Night

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  (602): View more from Arizona

  So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.

  (480): View more from Arizona

  so you punched his junk, right?

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  (602): So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex. (480): so you punched his junk, right? http://tfl.nu/9kpg
  Replies (16) Good night (831) Bad night (4096)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.

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  (405): He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk. http://tfl.nu/iths
  Replies (47) Good night (962) Bad night (3803)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan

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  (404): I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan http://tfl.nu/xldl
  Replies (14) Good night (5380) Bad night (1415)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?

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  (781): Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump? http://tfl.nu/1thl
  Replies (14) Good night (1311) Bad night (3368)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  It's never too late to be topless.

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  (614): It's never too late to be topless. http://tfl.nu/ybgn
  Replies (11) Good night (2964) Bad night (903)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.

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  (201): Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory. http://tfl.nu/a6d4
  Replies (4) Good night (2213) Bad night (1172)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.

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  (859): apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us. http://tfl.nu/vs1x
  Replies (18) Good night (3516) Bad night (770)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Order is debatable

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  (410): Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy (410): Order is debatable http://tfl.nu/gozm
  Replies (6) Good night (1402) Bad night (607)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.

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  (469): Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked. http://tfl.nu/5hhs
  Replies (8) Good night (1392) Bad night (742)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?

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  (515): We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences? http://tfl.nu/xlpv
  Replies (2) Good night (1119) Bad night (367)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.

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  (832): I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob. http://tfl.nu/r18w
  Replies (5) Good night (1545) Bad night (434)
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  (619): View more from California

  Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done

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  (619): Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done http://tfl.nu/oq1m
  Replies (2) Good night (852) Bad night (376)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite

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  (360): I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite http://tfl.nu/ql58
  Replies (5) Good night (617) Bad night (422)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars

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  (206): Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars http://tfl.nu/0i0u
  Replies (0) Good night (544) Bad night (293)
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  (925): View more from California

  Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex

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  (925): Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex http://tfl.nu/xxak
  Replies (1) Good night (1069) Bad night (218)

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