Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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