it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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