spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
