What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
