WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
