Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
