dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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