If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
