I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize