Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
