R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
