yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
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