you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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