I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
