You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
