He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize