i just google imaged poop.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize