In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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