I must be too annoying 4 u.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
