and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize