why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
