remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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