Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
