I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
