I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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