If i could tip my vagina, i would.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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