Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
