Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you win again, gameday.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize