I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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