Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
