I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
