the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
