I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
