Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
