Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize