; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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