How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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