My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize