dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
