I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
