one might say we're banned from that church
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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