Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
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Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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