i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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