I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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