What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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