the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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