I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm gonna fight the coyote
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
