When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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