im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.