when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Enjoy the penises
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
