Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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