This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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