You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
