farters have to be the big spoon...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
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Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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