You made me cry and you don't even care
D3 body, D1 cock
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
So apparently I’m into choking now
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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