After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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