there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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